Have you ever had one of those dreams that you just can't shake even after you've woken up? Last night I had one of those dreams. I was glad my alarm woke me up when it did but it left me feeling like I needed to go back and fix what happened in the dream.
The last part of the dream I was curled up in the corner of a room. I couldn't talk and I couldn't move. All I could do was watch the other people in the room who were not reacting to "the situation" the way I thought they should. They were walking around, talking nicely to each other and making lunch. Something horrible had happened and I thought they should be upset and mad. I thought they should be especially mad at the stranger in the room but they were being quite nice to him. But they were ignoring me for the most part, except for an occasional glance of concern.
I was confused by their actions. I felt completely responsible for "the situation" but also knew that it wasn't my fault, that I was young and naive and had been duped by this stranger. I wondered if their silence was really them blaming me or if they were waiting for someone with more authority to take care of the stranger. Surely they were just playing cool so he wouldn't leave before someone could apprehend him. Or maybe they were in on it . . .
The stranger got up like he was going to leave. No one noticed but me. I screamed "Shut the door!" repeatedly. It was the only thing I could say. I still couldn't move. I was frozen, with terror or was I hurt? I didn't know. The stranger coolly walked over and shut the door and then turned. He walked over to a chair just across from me. Sat down in it, facing me, and stared at me with an aggravating and menacing knowing look. I could read in his eyes that he thought he had everything under control. Things hadn't gone quite as he planned but he was still in charge. He looked away and started a conversation about European travel with the others in the room. I muttered a few times, "Call someone." No one seemed to notice. I sat there for what seemed like hours. What was going on? What had I done? What could I do? I didn't know.
When my alarm went off I didn't know if I'd be able to move from my corner of the dream to turn it off. I forced myself to do it remembering I didn't want to wake up Dave. I sat up in my bed, no longer dreaming or was I? I couldn't get off my bed. I felt like I shouldn't move. I was confused. I felt guilty and used and betrayed and I didn't know why. I can't shake the feeling and can't remember the rest of the dream. It's killing me! I want to know the rest of the story.