Great talk at church Sunday. The subject was change. This year has indeed been a year of change so my ears perked up and my heart tuned in. I especially liked an anecdote shared: The speaker had asked his young daughter how she felt about change. She responded "I prefer paper dollars". Though he hadn't intended to discuss money with her he didn't change the direction of the conversation and instead pressed on and asked, "Why do you prefer paper dollars over change?" To which she concluded, "Because change is heavy."
Change is heavy. I had a really tough year trying to muck through all the change being thrown my way. Some of the change I had to carry was a heavier burden than I thought I could bear. I was very comfortable where I was before. I liked what I was doing, where I was living and I was quite content with my simple little life as a PTA-RS-SAHM. I did not want it to change even if it was for Hawaii.
Now that I am here I see that I needed the change, not for the scenery or the weather or the allure of the tropics, I needed the change for me. I needed improvement. Quoted on Sunday was one of my favorite parts of CS Lewis' Mere Christianity:
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”Because I was comfortable and happy and content was exactly the reason why I needed the change. Since moving I have had to force myself to be more outgoing. I have had to push outside of my comfort zone so I could get teaching jobs and make friends that could be my far-from-home-family (gotta have someone to put on the emergency contact cards). I have had to learn new skills in organizing, delegating and prioritizing to keep the day-to-day of family life running smoothly now that I must be a working mom. I have had to make a real effort to be healthy, to rid myself of pain, and bless myself and my family with a strong and energetic body.
I know I wouldn't have made any of these changes if I'd dug my feet in and refused to make the move. The extra weight of change has at times been difficult however I have learned that life change, like pocket change, gets easier to make the more you do it.