Monday, September 19, 2011

Second Month Slump

I wrote this a few weeks ago and forgot to post it. We have now been in Hawaii for nearly 12 weeks. 

I'm sure you noticed that I haven't been myself lately.  I've been a bit lax in blogging. My to-do lists are taking an uncharacteristically long time to complete. I seem a bit disheveled and unorganized. Scatterbrained and forgetful. Uninterested and uninteresting.

It is no secret that I have a slight tendency to depression, I've warned you before. The first step in getting out of a depression is realizing that you are in one. Yada, yada, yada. I am a far stretch from being depressed but I can recognize that if I don't take measures now I may easily end up there. Last week as I sat in my front room surrounded by things to do I had a flashback of the last major move we made in 2006 when I felt very much the same.

At that time, 2006, we had just moved from Fresno, California to University Place, Washington.  We felt basically homeless, living in the basement of a family members' home.  And we were desperately looking for a job--the one we had moved for had fallen through. I was not happy about the move. Most of the first months there are a blur in my memory of sitting in the middle of that room surrounded by stuff and not wanting, nor able, to do anything.  I was definitely depressed then.

And then I had a flashback to another big move we made from Tacoma, Washington to Clovis, California in 2001. This was a good move.  We had been unemployed and underemployed for 13 months and had just found a great job in Dave's hometown (though he no longer had family there). We were 800 miles away from anything that felt like home and I was feeling incredibly alone with three small children and my hubby working long hours at a new job. I was a little depressed then.

As I thought about those two times and re-felt the feelings that those memories pressed upon me I realized something.  I realized that both times I was about 2 months into my move. The "big" work of the move was done, or mostly so; the adventure and excitement was over and real life had to begin again. Begin anew. I quickly realized that I am at that point now.  I'm in a place, my boxes are emptied, my furniture is arranged and I'm 2400 miles away from everything I've ever known and I don't know what to do next. The honeymoon is over. I'm in the second month slump.

Identifying the feelings, and naming the phenomena, I was also able remind myself that it will pass. I made a lot of great friends in California and Washington.  We had great times in both places, wonderful memories.  We will have all that here too it just takes time to do it. We've been in Hawaii for 10 weeks now and in this house for 6.  We've met a few people any of which we could end up being very close friends with.  We've discovered some new places we like to go and things that we like to do. Now it's time to get out of this slump and get back to being me. Watch out month three here I come!

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there, Dani! Remember all the friends who love and miss you (none more than me!), and keep busy, and I know you will settle in there just like you always do. You have a lot to offer to new friends, so don't be shy about it! You are a wonderful person and people can't help but to love you the first time they meet you! Those Hawaiians won't know what hit 'em! If I had my way, you'd still be here, but that was not meant to be, so my loss is their gain. I love you!!!

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