For at least the last two days I've had the song "Walk" by Foo Fighters in my head. Here are some of the lyrics:
A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return
I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
It goes on but that's the part that keeps echoing in my ears.
When I arrived here in Hawaii I was feeling pretty weak and drained. I had been working hard for months on end preparing for the move and the last few weeks of that preparation were totally insane and stressful. The focus of everything I was doing and feeling and thinking was about the stupid move and my house and my stuff and my cars and my flight and boy was I glad when I stepped on that airplane and could say "I'm done!". And then when I stepped off that plane I was so glad to fall into the arms of my husband and turn over the reigns to him again. I think "Tag, you're it" were the words I used.
I have now been here for just over 3 weeks and I am just barely feeling like I'm ready to start back into normal life again. Yes, I've taken some baby steps (a solo trip into town, kids to the doctor, baking my own bread) but I haven't really gotten up to speed yet.
The last few days, however, I'm starting to feel the itch, I want to get back to normal. I want to do more than sit on the beach and veg. I've caught myself contemplating waking up early to go running. I've started a new to-do list. I'm gradually getting back on my daily and weekly schedule. And I'm even starting to get excited about moving again. I'm learning to walk again.