Monday, May 09, 2011

Anxiety

I thought I was having a heart attack yesterday.  Pain in my chest that stabbed through to my back under my scapula. Short of breath. Tingling and numbness in my left arm.  Racing pulse. Dizziness. Flashes of hot and sweating. This was all while I was lying down and sitting down. When my doctor friend told me he thought I was having an anxiety attack I broke down in tears and couldn't stop crying.

  • My doctors visit didn't go so well last Thursday. My doc gave me a long list of tests, procedures and to do's.  I can't tackle the tests and procedures now (time, money, mental stress) and will wait on those until I get to Hawaii.  In the meantime my to do's include new meds, new supplements and losing 10% of my body weight.
  • The car is running again but knowing I've got to sell it in a month I am concerned that it is going to break down again.  Another interior door handle is breaking.
  • Little things keep going wrong around the house: another ballast on another fluorescent fixture in the basement burned out, the front door locking mechanism jammed, the bath tub drain is clogged, found a hornets nest, weeds are overtaking the yard, the neighbor girl painted fingernail polish on one of the walls and spilled some on the carpet.
  • The seats for the boat finally came in on Friday.  Once we get those in the boat we can put it up for sale. I was hoping to get this done before Dave leaves but we weren't able to get around to in on Saturday.
  • Dave leaves this next Friday morning.  We had a good-bye get together with family last Friday night.  We went out on our last date on Saturday night.  We went to church together for the last time on Sunday.  Every night this week is full of his final waterpolo games and final classes at PLU. In 17 years we haven't been away from each other for more than a week.  It will be six weeks before the kids are out of school and we will join him in Hawaii.
I got a Priesthood blessing from Dave and my father last night.  It was comforting and my symptoms have diminished significantly.  The physical pain is gone.

1 comment:

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