Sunday, March 01, 2009

What the World Needs Now

I am proud to be a mean mother and tell my children often how mean I am. Here are a few examples of the mean things I do:
  • I've trained them to go to bed early every night. The girls are in bed around 7pm and the boys are there by 8:30.
  • I make them do chores every day and refuse to pay them allowances. Instead they are rewarded with yummy food to eat, nice clothes to wear and a comfortable bed to sleep on AND, most importantly, a happy mom and dad!
  • I don't allow sleepovers and I don't let them go to friends houses unless I know the parents very well and have been to their house several times.
  • I greatly limit the amount of time they watch TV and play computers/video games.
  • I make them play outside everyday.
  • I demand they keep excellent grades, and respect adults and other children.

They insist, however, that I am the nicest mom ever. I guess I'll have to try harder!

Many years ago I saw this framed on a friends wall. I loved it. I told her. A few months later she showed up on my doorstep with an identical one for me. You'll find it on my stairway wall in my home.

How to be a Mean Mother

A mean mother never allows candy or sweets to take the place of a well-balanced meal.

A mean mother insists on knowing where her children are at all times, who their friends are and what they do.

A mean mother breaks the child labor laws by making her children work - washing dishes, making beds, learning to cook and doing other cruel and unpleasant chores.

A mean mother makes life miserable for her offspring by insisting that they always tell the truth.

A mean mother produces teenagers who are wiser and more sensible.

A mean mother can smile with secret delight and pride when she hears her own grandchildren call their parents "mean".

What the world needs now is more mean mothers.

Janet Casey, 1995

1 comment:

  1. Hey Dani-just found out from a HCW friend-who is somehow knowledgeable about West Side Albie's-and they told me that you guys should continue to be able to use competitor Q's until about June.

    ReplyDelete

Hi Friend! I know you have something very important to say. So, what do you think?

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