Friday, February 05, 2016

Dressing Inappropriately

In my AMPD 5023-Cultural Aspects of Dress class we had an interesting assignment this week. I was a little afraid to do it and really could have pushed my limits a little more. After submitting my assignment however I found I was more daring than most of my cohort. We were supposed to dress inappropriately for something.

Here's what I did:
I tried this several times because I never got the reactions I was expecting.

#1 Sunday: We went to Sunset Beach to watch the sunset. My family was all in their usual Sunday afternoon attire: shorts, t-shirts, hoodies. I kept my church clothes on all day and wore my skirt and blouse to the beach. I really would have preferred to have been in my other clothes because it would have been easier to sit in the sand without a skirt on. I felt really overdressed. A few people looked at me a little longer than I felt was normal. The message I was sending was that I was not expecting a trip to the beach or that I am not comfortable at, or don’t know what to wear to a beach? I learned that I needed to do it again in a more interactive environment.

#2 Monday: I went straight from surfing to the grocery store. I had a little beach dress on over my wet suit. My hair was tied up in a top knot and was still dripping wet. My feet were bare and covered in sand. I went to the pharmacy, to the produce section and through the checkout. The pharmacist didn’t hardly even look at me let alone look at me funny. The shoppers in produce were oblivious and the checker just asked me what’s for dinner. All totally normal. I felt really uncomfortable and worried I would run into someone from church or a student. I was blatantly out of dress code and though I wasn’t at work I’m still supposed to look professional in public; it is a small town. I was conveying the message that I’m a beach bum and I don’t care what others think? I learned that I needed to do it again in an even more interactive environment with people I knew.

#3 Thursday: I was a little nervous about wearing the outfit but at this point--after doing the other two experiments--I was just curious to see if ANYONE was going to say ANYTHING to me. I’m always worried about dressing appropriately, especially when I am on-campus. I am young looking and often get mistaken as a student. Though I knew I would look like a student in this outfit I wasn’t going to have any interactions with random people. I knew everyone I met on this day already knew me really well. They were all family, students, and close co-workers. Reactions to dress are detailed below in my blow-by-blow script. Because I never wear aloha shirts I think the message I was sending is that I am involved in a presentation and wearing a uniform for it. I was expecting people to ask me what I was doing today or if I had a new job. I learned that if you are wearing something out of the ordinary probably only those that you are really close to will say anything about it.

The full script/detailed notes from Thursday
6:02am (getting dressed. Husband rolls over in bed and spots me buttoning up my top.)
Husband: What are you doing?
Me: Getting dressed.
Husband: Do you have something going on in class today? a field trip to PCC? (laughs) (PCC is Polynesian Cultural Center)
Me: Yes. In my grad class.
Husband: Really?! What?
Me: I have to wear something out of context.
Husband: You look like a student worker
Me: Yep.

6:04am (walk out of room and down hallway past my 12 yo daughter, Cora)
Cora:That’s Afton’s shirt! (pause) It’s cute on you!
Me: Thanks.
Cora: Are you wearing that to work? (sounding incredulous)
Me: Yep.
Cora: Oh.

6:05am (walk into kitchen where my other daughter,15 yo Afton, and 17 yo son Kirkham are cleaning up from breakfast)
Me: Good morning. Are you ready to go?
Kirkham: (turns to greet me) Morning. Uh. . .
Afton: Nice shirt mom. (questioningly because I didn’t ask permission)
Kirkham: You look like a PCC worker mom. Like a student.
Me: Hmmm. (turning to Afton) Can I wear it?
Afton: I guess. Why?
Kirkham: Is it for something at work today?
Me: Yes. For my class.
Cora: Oh, what are you doing?! (I can tell she is thinking that it is either a performance or field trip. She loves hearing about these).
Me: I have to wear something out of context.
Kirkham: That’s weird.
Cora: I think you look cute.
Afton just nods as she walks out to get her backpack.

7:30am-8:30 am I teach a student development class with 20 students. Discussion is on money management. No one says anything about my clothes. I forget after about 15 minutes that I am wearing something unusual for me.

8:30-11am Office hours
8:30-8:45  Meet with a student in my office. Discussion is about her grades and her life. No mention of my clothes. I’m not really thinking about my clothes at all.
8:45-9:30 Read emails, read news, read updates on classes.
9:30 I look down and remember what I am wearing and decide to take a picture in my office mirror (my office is the campus costume shop)

Unfortunately my office stayed pretty quiet for the next while. Usually my office mate is in by 9 with his homeschooled daughter who does her work in his office. He has quite a few students who come to the office on a normal day. Today it was crickets.

10:50am my student Luis comes in to use the workspace for his final project. He looks at me a little peculiarly but doesn’t say anything about my outfit.

noon Carly arrives for class. She is not very observant and so I am not surprised she doesn’t look at me funny or say anything.

12:05pm Meg arrives for class. She does look at me a little sideways but doesn’t ask any questions about, nor bring up my choice in apparel.

12:10pm Kierrah arrives. She looks at me funny. She looks at me up and down and stares. She looks like she is about to say something to me but Meg asks her a question about the field trip over the weekend--I took them to the World of Wearable Art exhibit at Bishop Museum. Kierrah turns to talk to Meg.

12:10-2:10pm is class time. Each of the students work on their final project independently and I hop between each one to check progress and coach them through. While working on projects students’ discussion floats from the field trip to wearable art. They stay on this subject for a while and try to figure out the difference between artistic nudity (depicted in some of the exhibit’s displays) and pornography. Conversation turns to upcoming movies and the meaning of the characters’ outfits and then they land on the university dress code. The students stay on dress code for a while and debate back and forth whether dress code is to teach them to be professional or if it is a religious symbol of faith and preparation for the temple. They try to come to a conclusion on why some students choose to not honor the dress code and what should be done about it. They can’t come to a consensus on perceived motives.  They are talking about why they choose to wear the clothes they wear when I interrupt. (I love that their conversation has naturally taken this turn!)

2:10pm Class time is over. I interrupt to remind them to clean up their stations before leaving and  add my two cents about their conversation. It goes something like this:

Me: None of you said anything about my out-of-the-ordinary outfit today. I’m wondering if any of you were wondering why I chose to wear this today.

Luis: I thought maybe you just hadn’t done your laundry. You know one of those days when you have to wear whatever is left. (He and Carly start laughing about his outfit last week when the same happened to him)

Kierrah: I kept wanting to ask you but I wanted to do it privately and everyone kept asking for your help. I didn’t want to seem judgmental or whatever. (she looked very relieved that it was brought up).

Luis: So it wasn’t a laundry thing?
Carly smacks him and we all laugh.

Me: No. It was a class assignment, an experiment, to wear something out of context and see what people would say or how they would react.

Luis: That’s weird. We should do that.
Kierrah: You should have borrowed a wig from me.
Meg: I say you look like you're desperate for money and took a second job at PCC.

Friday, January 08, 2016

The End of the Road: Our Last Summer Adventure

Found this in my unpublished posts. This was originally written in July of 2015.

Kids go back to school this week which makes me really sad.  I always miss having them around. Before going back, however, we decided we needed to have an adventure day: a day to explore the one part of the island we have never been. We went south side, past Makaha all the way to Yokohama beach and the Kaena Point south trailhead.

Mom and Cora with Dave to the far right and Kirkham behind.  Not pictured but also in the car: Afton and Beau Kapeliela (friend from Washington who is a student at BYUH)

We loaded up early with picnic supplies and surfboards, snorkel gear and tennis shoes.  We didn't really know what the day would offer so we prepared ourselves for everything. We brought along our handy Oahu Revealed travel guide which is full of little known facts, stories and destinations.

Cora, Afton, Dave, Kirkham, Beau 

Here we are at the end of the road.  That was easy. It took us about 90 minutes to get here from our house. It was a beautiful day and nice and all but we decided not to go explore too far.  We had too much gear to leave in the truck and Dave's back wasn't feeling up to it anyways.




It looked pretty enough but we know that if there aren't any locals playing in it then it is not safe.  We stayed on shore.



This cave was pretty cool.  It was on the island side of the road heading back to Makaha from the end of the road. It went back quite a ways and we had fun exploring it.  Glad we had cellphones for flashlights but wished we had real ones.




Afton must prove that she is at peace




Cora and Dave join Afton, showing off their Karate kid moves.



Along the way we found the famed Electric Beach.  We were really hoping for a little more.  It was a hole in the wall beach, literally. Very small. Very unmarked. Felt a little sketchy. We did it anyways. I'm not a snorkelling fan so I stayed on the beach to read and babysit the gear in the truck.  Dave and the kids snorkeled out into the bay and said they had a great time.  The current gets a little strong here so it is not advised to go out without fins and excellent swimming skills. We heard there are usually dolphins playing here.  We didn't see any.



With Electric  Beach out of the way we decided to grab some grub at McDonalds. It wasn't in the original plan but they were having a 59 cent hamburger sale and we just couldn't resist. Everyone got two burgers and ice cream cone (also on sale for 59 cents). Such big spenders!

After filling our bellies we drove out to White Plains beach to burn off the calories. The beach was CROWDED and the waves were big and crazy.  The beach is huge there and when Kirkham and Afton grabbed their boards and ran out into the water they quickly disappeared. I quickly freaked out! I finally spotted Kirkham way, way out on the outside--thank goodness he had a yellow rash guard on--and made Dave paddle out to him to make sure he was safe.  By this time Afton realized the rashness of her decision and had caught the first inside wave she could catch and came in landing 200 yards down the beach from where she had set in! The currents were strong.

With Afton and Cora accounted for and Dave going out to retrieve Kirkham I quickly caught my obligatory three waves on some inside breaks that were crappy and sloppy and big. Done. We left satisfied that we don't have to go back. It is checked off our list.



Since it was an adventure day we took a different road home.  A back road called Kaukonahua Road that goes from Wahiawa to Haleiwa.  It was beautiful! We will take this road again. A lot less traffic and even more stunning views (hard to believe I know) than Hwy 99 through the pineapple fields.

We had a fabulous day today enjoying the beauty of our island. We are glad to have explored the last corner but now what do we do?

A Year Full of Injuries

We don't get hurt much here in the Dooley household but occasionally we like to go all out.  I was going through pictures today and found these beauties.  Enjoy? Thankfully the list is short this year. I, by far, was injured more than anyone else.  A few items not listed that ailed me was a broken toe, an injured shoulder, sprained wrist, and countless bumps and bruises; most sustained while surfing. Here's to health and happiness in 2016!

From January of 2015 sustained injuries from surfboard. Used crutches for 2 days post injury. Ended up with bruising from mid thigh down to the ankle. Still have a divot in my calf that the doctor says probably won't ever go away. 
Cora took a mean mosquito bite to the eye lid when we were camping.  It took about a week for the swelling to go down.  It happened again 2 months later.
This happened when I took a board to the noggin. I had a slight concussion, this goose egg and a headache for days. Don't remember much else.

Kirkham slipped on a sewer grate and this happened! Took us all by surprise.  Thankfully it healed quickly and it didn't bug him at all on our Kauai hiking adventure 2 weeks later.

Another surf injury this one sustained on December 31st. Spotted some sharks on the outside of the break and took the next wave in.  Was a little too anxious, got into the wave at the wrong spot and took a spin in the washing machine (when the waves grabs you and you get stuck in the middle of it spinning. sucks!).  In the spinning my fins whacked me on the backside of the head and the leash got wrapped around my legs. I was a little freaked.  A week later I still have the goose egg on the back of my head and the bruises on my legs. I'm just grateful I got away from the sharks.

Thursday, January 07, 2016

First day of class

I was all set up and sitting there waiting for my students to arrive and no one ever did.  Five minutes before class the thought "maybe I'm in the wrong classroom" flashed through my head. Looked it up and yes, my classroom was changed. 

I was 2 minutes late for class. Everyone was sitting there. Quiet. Ugh. I had never been in this classroom before and fumbled to get my computer plugged in, get the projector working, figure out where the light switches were, etc. I felt stupid but did my best to act confident. 

We did a few ice breaker games and that loosened up the crowd. I got through the introduction and the syllabus and the portfolio description right on time. No bored faces. A few questions afterwords.

Done.  

Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Journal entry

My car is squealing so this morning, when the kids needed a ride to school because Cora had a project too big to bike with, I took them in the truck. Totally forgot the registration was expired until that kind officer reminded me with a hefty ticket. I also forgot the insurance card in my pile of mail in the kitchen. The officer said he couldn't just take my word for it and he was obliged to write me an additional $134 reminder. 

Fortunately the shop was quiet this morning. I needed some time alone with the costumes to sort things out and see how we are doing. 10 more days to the first dress rehearsal and still quite a few missing pieces. Lots of sewing in my near future. The shop is now clean and organized and ready to be destroyed again. 

Kirkham and I set to work on my car after school. Have to remove the front passenger side tire to get access to the serpentine belt. We got the tire off but the serpentine belt was a bit trickier. Dave was happy we got stuck and happily took a few wrenches to it when he got home from work. The belt is fine but the idler pulley is not. Gotta get a new one tomorrow and hope it is a fairly quick fix. From what I've read online the repair would cost somewhere around $500 at a shop. That's worth a couple days work to me. 

The surf was finally nice today. Partly because all the kiddos are back in shool and the beach is empty again, and partly because I finally went back to a long board. My board is under repair right now and I've been using a short board but the waves have not been conducive to good short boarding. I used Dave's red Harbor and caught about 15 good waves--small but fun--in about 30 minutes time. 

Tonight I finished putting my class on Canvas. First class is tomorrow. Excited and nervous. I've done the class several times before but I always change it a bit and of course it is always different because of different students. I love teaching student development. I only hope the students are getting something from it. It would be a shame for all my hard work to be going to waste. Crossing my fingers for tomorrow!

Tonight I am thankful for a patient and skilled husband, a helpful and obedient son, a hardworking and dedicated daughter and an artistic and lighthearted daughter. I am also grateful for my missionary, that no students came into the shop today when I needed alone time, and that the waves were decent. Oh, also had two friends contact me out of the blue. That was nice. Okay, now I think I can sleep. 

Tuesday, January 05, 2016

Favorite Quotes: Ignore Things

"Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace."
                                  ~~Robert J. Sawyer

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Surfing Kauai

Hanalei bay. There is a break way out there. 


 We have had a great week here in Kauai with hardly a minute sitting still (unless we're sleeping in, going to bed early or sleeping on the beach). It has been nice to get away from the stress of real life and just enjoy each other. 

I'll do my best to back post about our fun on the Kalalau trail and all the prep that entailed but I don't have the time for it this morning. Today we are going to church here with our friends, the Hanks, and then we'll spend the rest of the day exploring the south side of the island up to Waimea and Polihale. 

Today I wanted to reassure ya'll that I am keeping up on my surfing while here. I think I have hit the 300 day mark but I'm not sure, I left my surfing calendar at home and forgot to check it before leaving. 

The first day we were here we surfed at a break in Poipu right out from the Marriot. The waves were big and the wind and current was strong. It was not a great introduction to the spot. It took a while to get my three waves there because the conditions were so wonky and because I was using a borrowed board that I wasn't used to. I was glad to have Dave and Austin and Nathan and Kirkham and Tristan out surfing with me. Kirkham ended up on the rocks though and didn't come back out. Fortunately he avoided injury. 

The next day, Saturday, Dave and I tested out a spot a couple hotels down at the Sheraton. The swell was bigger and conditions rotten so we had to surf in a protected spot. This was too protected. We got our waves but we won't go back to this spot again. It would be great for teaching little kids to surf. 

Since we've been back from our Kalalau hike we have surfed two days at that same break by the Marriot so we're starting to get the hang of how that wave works. I had a really fun day out there on Christmas Day when I surfed it with just Dave and Nathan Hanks. Everyone else stayed home to "rest" (play video games).  Dave's surf session was ended abruptly by a wipeout into the rocks where he cut up his hand and chipped out a chunk of his borrowed board. Bummer. 

Yesterday, Saturday again, we drove around to the North shore and surfed Hanalei Bay. It was a hefty paddle out and very hard to even tell if it was breaking from the shore. We were rewarded for our faith with great waist to head high waves that were easy to surf and provided long rides. I surfed for a few hours and then slept on the beach for a few hours. The kids alternately surfed, kayaked, jumped off the pier and played in the sand. 

We are having a great time. 
Nathan and Cora kayaking

Afton, Austin, Nathan and Cora jumping off the Hanalei pier. 

Friday, November 13, 2015

What's Up?

Long time no see! Hope you all are doing well out there in the wide world.  Despite the lack of communication the Dooley family is doing well. 

The school year is moving by at a quick pace. Already semester one at BYU-H is done and semester two has begun. I really enjoyed the students I worked with last semester. My student development class was the best ever. I don't know if it is the kids I had or if I've finally become comfortable enough with the material to enjoy the class.  Probably a combination of the two; the kids were really awesome. The theater class was great also and the only downside to the semester is that it ended with graduation: Ingrid's graduation. 

I am very sad to say good-bye to my talented and devoted student worker Ingrid Veliz.  She has been a joy to work with these past 18 months and I will miss her.  I went to my first graduation ceremony here at BYU-H--dressed in my robes and all--just to see her graduate.  I'm proud of her and hope she does great things.

This semester is off to a good start though I only have the theater class. Not enough students enrolled in Student Development so my section was cancelled. I may still teach it second term but that is yet to be determined. Theater has four students enrolled and all of them are top notch. They all come in with some great basic skills, are go getters and enthusiastic.  I love when fate throws me a team like this! We are costuming Fiddler on the Roof this semester!

While beginning this second semester at BYU-H I am just past halfway through my first semester at University of Arkansas. My graduate program is awesome! I am so excited about everything that I am learning. My classes are: Global Sourcing, Adult Learning Theories, and Linkages in Technology, Economics and Societal Values. Global Sourcing is a study of the Global Fashion Industry, it's framework, laws, ethics, sustainability and all that jazz.  I knew it was complex but this class is opening my eyes to the vast complexity and interconnectedness throughout politics, cultures, and business. In Adult Learning I am studying the different theories of education as they apply to adult learners. Many of the ideas we talk about in class I can immediately apply in my teaching. It is helping me to be more confident and hopefully effective. The Linkages class is an intense study of  technology and societal values over all of human history in an effort to find patterns for sustainability.  It is a second term class so there is a lot stuffed into a short amount of time, a little stressful but a fascinating study.

I was also called to be a seminary teacher this year. Joy of joys! Seriously! I have always thought it would be fun to be a seminary teacher and have enjoyed the challenge. I team teach which means I only teach every other week. This is nice in some ways: get a week to get extra sleep, extra time to study, share other responsibilities. But in other ways it is not so great: don't feel quite the connection with the kids that I would if it were all the time, I slack off on my weeks off. I feel like this has been an inspired call from the Bishop as it has helped me to really focus on being a better teacher and it keeps me in the scriptures constantly.  I really have to manage my time carefully to be able to keep up with seminary and my other activities and I have felt the Lord's hand support me in my demands.

The biggest bummer so far has been that I haven't been running for a while.  Seminary makes it really hard to keep on my regular workout routine. I also have been inundated by injuries. I broke my toe a few months ago and it is finally starting to not ache.  I didn't run the Gunstock half marathon in October because I hadn't been training and it looks like I won't be able to run the Laie marathon in December. I was going to start up my running again this week (it's been my week off seminary) but I got the flu and was in bed--literally-- for 3 days. I'll go for a test run next week to see how far I can go.  That will determine whether or not I'll do the marathon.

I know you're wondering if I've kept up on my daily surf session and the answer is a resounding YES! Yes, even though I was deathly ill this week I have gone out to surf.  Yes, even though I had a broken toe I have surfed. Yes, even though I have been injured countless other times, I have surfed. Yes,  though life has been full, I have surfed. Today is 265 days. It hasn't always been easy and hasn't always been fun. I have learned a lot about myself by doing this experiment that I will have to detail in another post on another day.

I'd love to go on and catch you up on all the fun stuff going on in the life of the kids and Heath and Dave but I am plum out of time and will need to save that for another day too.  I really miss blogging and hope to make that a more regular part of my life again. It is nice to put my life into words to relive and re-experience it. Though I haven't been writing much I do look at my blog a lot: searching for pictures, recipes, favorite quotes, whatever. It is a powerful tool that I intend to implement more fully in the future.

Thank you for your patience with me as I grow and learn. I am grateful for the life I live and the people I am surrounded by. Hope to talk to you again soon!
Dani
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